My Fire

What is this mess?

2009-09-01T06:01:04Z

I'll admit it: I don't know Lil Mama. I don't know her music. I don't know her face, even (I've been under a rock?). But I think she's a smart cookie for what she said (and the other judges echoed her other sentiment, if not very, very faintly). The video I watched made Lil Mama come off as a sensible judge who gave smart advice about a topic she's being paid to critique: dance and professionalism.

I found the Advocate's article rather even-handed; and the video only resolved my sentiment: the trans community has unjustified, hurt or angry feelings that Lil Mama said anything out of line.

I saw and heard a non-trans person make a (relevant) comment about a trans person to grow the hell up -- not just as a professional, but as a woman. Afterwards, the trans community wants to feel offended. Did they not watch the pre-dance segment where Leiomy Maldonado walked out on her teammates? Did they not see Maldonado roll her eyes at the judges as if she believed she were beyond judgement and forced to participate in a reality TV show? Selective hearing and vision, I say!

Last time I checked, Los Angeles–based trans activist Ashley Love isn't a professional dancer (neither am I) -- so where does Love get off deciding what's relevant to dance and professionalism (in or out of the dance work sphere)? Lil Mama's comment wasn't about "calling attention to Maldonado's trans nature -- she was calling attention to the fact that the dancer walked out on her practice sessions, jeopardized the team's confidence and position in the competition; not the least of it being that she came off acting like a childish, whiner who didn't realize that being on TV and performing are hard work. Tantrums (even in private) aren't allowed in the adult world (if you don't want consequences; or to be called out on them.) That being said, the trans people who are complaining that Lil Mama shouldn't have upbraided Maldonado as she did don't get it. Sad. I imagine the grammar police will be storming the gates based on the inane remarks of Shane Sparks.

Whatever reasons Maldonado had for dancing with Vogue Evolution on America’s Best Dance Crew, those reasons must bow to and she must accept this one truth: she will be judged professionally -- not just by the viewers and the audience, but by the, wait for it ... JUDGES. The first thing I did was listen to Lil Mama's critique of Maldonado's step-and-flip maneuver (which, by the way, I may not know about dance (at all), but after hearing the suggestion, I agree, I didn't get as much out of the technique as I could have had she slowed down ... wow! A judge who gave sound advice! What did JC Chasez and Sparks have to offer? Nada.) -- I'll paraphrase what Lil Mama said: "slow it down so people can appreciate what you're doing" -- and then she told her, (and again, I'm paraphrasing): "you're not acting professionally. This is a competition, and you're expected to behave like a mature adult." Whining about "just miss[ing] being at home" is what a 4 year-old does. It may be what an adult feels, but acting on impulses is usually over and done with by the time puberty is over. Mature adults accept a hardship and don't have fits when they're working in a group. Between rolling her eyes at the judge's criticism, regardless of who the judge is (and apparently, this judge actually enjoys and appreciates Maldonado's abilities, is not only unkind, but professionally rude.

I was ashamed that Maldonado's monologue before the performance was using the excuse that she has "fans out there" and alleging she is "the face of transgender" further my outrage that this trans person wants to be a role model and represent a misunderstood group in (not just the queer community, but the of color community too -- both of which require character(s) above reproach). Repeatedly missing dance practice; walking out during dress rehearsal before showtime; and giving a sour face during a formal review by the judges (with the cameras trained on her -- What? There are cameras on this show? How novel!) is not the best face to put forward. Maldonado cannot have her cake and eat it too. She's no diva by any measure of a person: being on a television talent search (even if it is hosted by Mario Lopez) is no free pass to poor professional behavior.

See the issue for what it is: Maldonado damaged the cooperative spirit of her team. She may be considered in some ways a centerpiece because she's the woman in a team of men; but as one teammate expressed: working with Maldonado every single day was "worse than [walking on] egg-shells." Another "felt disrespected; felt backstabbed" and (my favorite quote still), "it really hurt-ed me."

Lil Mama's reproach was neither out of bounds nor was it insensitive to tell a trans person: "you say you're transition(ing/ed) to a woman and want to be treated as such? I will definitely treat you as a woman and I'll expect you to act like a proper lady." That's Maldonado's "truth" that Lil Mama wanted her to remember. Not that she was born with boy-parts, but that she cannot act like an impudent, petulent girl.

Mature, comme il faut ladies, in Western society do not act like Maldonado when faced with a hardship; especially when they're working in a team where others are relying on them to help the group succeed. Lil Mama said it just right. Why can't the trans community take Maldonado to task? Giving Maldonado permission to act like a haughty, spoiled woman because she's a haughty, spoiled transgendered woman is, I think, worse than the cavil of Ashley Love and her ilk.

nurispark @ 2009-04-06T09:05:00

2009-04-06T14:05:52Z

wonders when Michael Jordan got ...uhh, fat.

nurispark @ 2009-04-05T20:52:00

2009-04-06T01:52:41Z

misses The Doctor. This year will be long until he returns to the US :( Reruns aren't enough!

nurispark @ 2009-04-04T19:45:00

2009-04-05T00:45:52Z

goes to make merriment, reluctantly. I mean, it's not as if I'm the nicest/sanest guy... oh wait... never mind. I lose again. Yay! Upheaval! :)

nurispark @ 2009-04-02T00:17:00

2009-04-02T05:17:54Z

would like to state for the record I did everything that I could do.

Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day

2009-04-01T08:45:08Z

Someday he'll come along
The man I love
And he'll be big and strong
The man I love
And when he comes my way
I'll do my best to make him stay

He'll look at me and smile
I'll understand
Then in a little while
He'll take my hand
And though it seems absurd
I know we both won't say a word

Maybe I shall meet him Sunday
Maybe Monday maybe not
Still I'm sure to meet him one day
Maybe Tuesday will be my good news day

He'll build a little home
That's meant for two
From which I'll never roam
Who would, would you
And so all else above
I'm dreaming of the man I love

nurispark @ 2009-04-01T02:23:00

2009-04-01T07:26:41Z

finally got around to buying Casey Stratton's "Signs of Life" -- No tour in, like, 3 years and so much eyeliner! Oy.

nurispark @ 2009-03-31T21:51:00

2009-04-01T02:55:07Z

thinks the second time is charming when they made the second version of "Cupid" . I'm a hopeless romantic.

nurispark @ 2009-03-30T20:44:00

2009-03-31T01:47:54Z

ponders, "No one ever said life was fair, only eventful."

nurispark @ 2009-03-29T12:28:00

2009-03-29T17:30:53Z

can’t walk but I can dance. I can’t talk but I can sing.

nurispark @ 2009-03-28T18:42:00

2009-03-28T23:45:35Z

is going to be social against my better judgement. I'll take the Chivas instead. j/k

nurispark @ 2009-03-27T01:02:00

2009-03-27T06:05:26Z

is getting better at pretending "everything's great." It's all very Alanis Morissette.

nurispark @ 2009-03-22T17:04:00

2009-03-22T22:06:09Z

would love some sweet, sweet Buffy-a-thon right about now.

nurispark @ 2009-03-21T21:26:00

2009-03-22T02:28:07Z

had, probably, too much sangria. Buuf.

nurispark @ 2009-03-21T17:48:00

2009-03-21T22:50:10Z

just saw a kickass apartment ... which probably is a bit more expensive that I want to upgrade to... but .... *sigh*

nurispark @ 2009-03-21T04:02:00

2009-03-21T09:04:40Z

thinks Jed said it right: "the only thing you ever had to do to make me happy was to come home at the end of the day." That about sums it up for me.

nurispark @ 2009-03-20T00:10:00

2009-03-20T05:12:13Z

asked, and finally he received. Did he like what he received? Jury is out... probably for a while.

nurispark @ 2009-03-19T00:54:00

2009-03-19T05:55:49Z

growls, "hello pumpkin. hello gumdrop." grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

nurispark @ 2009-03-18T10:48:00

2009-03-18T15:50:27Z

sings along with P!nk, "it's all your fault. You called me beautiful."

nurispark @ 2009-03-16T21:47:00

2009-03-17T02:49:19Z

thinks: VoiceOver for iPod is neat and all -- but it's not a "new technology"! It's the OSX screen reader. What, did they soup-up Alex?

nurispark @ 2009-03-16T02:21:00

2009-03-16T07:22:53Z

tried 3 times to listen to Jackie Mason and found him repulsive and not funny. I wonder if this makes me a bad Jew -- or just someone who can think for himself. RIP Mr. Mason's career.

nurispark @ 2009-03-16T00:01:00

2009-03-16T05:03:11Z

tryna to walk a mile in my kicks.

nurispark @ 2009-03-12T14:51:00

2009-03-12T19:51:56Z

loves the new www.contxts.com!
Send NURI to 50500 for my contact info to your phone!

nurispark @ 2009-03-12T01:01:00

2009-03-12T06:01:47Z

don't gotta tell you what to do cuz you're on it. I don't gotta let you in my world cuz you rock it.

nurispark @ 2009-03-08T00:56:00

2009-03-08T06:56:44Z

had so much fun at Chicago Takes Off that he can't wait for the 2010 show!